Flabby, Funny, Forty, and of course Fabulous!!!

Just this past weekend, The Telegraph in their article “Why your Forties are the most fabulous years” writes, “David Beckham is a prime example of why being in your Forties is no bad thing,” and, wait for it… “he looks better now than he did in his twenties!” I did not quite continue reading the article as I found myself just drooling over this…

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At this age there are some crimes you indulge in, like stealing this photo off the internet.

His photo gives me encouragement that as I age, my taste in men continue to grow better. And, unlike me,  if you are able to stop drooling and continue reading this post, you will find 15 reasons why I think stepping into my 40’s this weekend will be as fabulous, just maybe not in a Beckhamish way.

  1. The top two ads that show up on my Facebook feed are: (a) The Miracle Slimming Cami that skims, sculpts, and gives you great posture and (b) The Mini Portable Hair Remover that keeps your face peach fuzz-free.
  2. Eerily, their target marketing is not too off. Most parts of my body need to be skimmed while hair, let’s just say, is not only a problem on my face.
  3. Talking about hair, the grays are unstoppable like they are on some kind of growth hormone or something. Neither my energy, nor my wallet can seem to keep up with them.
  4. Add to that, what hubby dearest so lovingly puts it, “raccoon eyes.” At any given time of day, my eyes look like they have not slept in months.
  5. Which, come to think of it, might be true. Seems like my bladder is mad at me for turning 40 and needs to take me to the bathroom at all odd hours into the night.
  6. If it’s not my bladder it is my hubby’s. And if it’s not him rolling out of bed and slamming his toe religiously every night at his corner of the bed, it is my lovely daughter who wakes up around midnight asking for oatmeal because she’s sleep walking/talking and thinks it’s time to go to school. We’ve decided, next time we’re just going to roll with it.
  7. That brings me to, who the hell convinced me having kids was a good idea in the first place?
  8. Sadly, no one. And at 40 you begin to realize how dumb you were in your 20’s and 30’s.
  9. Dumb thinking your body can do anything and everything you once did till standing up from a sitting position makes you now look and feel like an 80-year-old.
  10. Sitting and standing at this age comes with other issues as well. While seated, your boobs have now started resting on your tummy and then when you eventually stand, you realize they are taken over by gravity, and no matter how expensive your bra is, you just need duct tape to keep them in any kind of place or shape.
  11. Bringing me to the moment when my man recently pointed out the fancy lace panties at Costco (yup, way past buying sexy lingerie from Victoria’s Secret phase!) and I picked up spandex shorts that go under skirts instead. To which he exclaimed wide-eyed, “what even are those???”
  12. I hate Costco. I don’t think I will ever wear those shorts under my skirt. But Costco made me think it was a brilliant idea and forced me to buy them just like those two new pairs of yoga pants that are sitting in my closet, well, because I don’t really do yoga, or any form of exercise so as to not break any other part of my body that is still intact. Come to think of it, maybe wearing those pants to grocery shop at Whole Foods might boost my 40th morale.
  13. But I love Costco too. I just found this garment steamer there that seems to solve all my problems. My latest hobby is steaming wrinkles out of my garments, the ones that have been lying in my closet for years because I have been too lazy and too cheap to take them to the dry cleaners. I just wish it worked great with the wrinkles under my eyes too. In your 40’s it is the simplest things that make you horny happy.
  14. The fact that I just included two bullet points talking about Costco and underwear makes me feel very hip and young.
  15. My relationships are finally long-term and mature. Just look at how from my “torching vodka in my mouth phase” from when I was in my 20’s to me and my wine having matured and bonded throughout my 30’s. This relationship is stepping in strong in my 40’s and I see both of us together for many, many more years to come.

As I write this, I am just three days shy from bidding adieu to my 30’s. It has been harder than I imagined it would be, only because this past decade has been a roller coaster ride to who I have become stepping into my 40’s. The best part is, irrespective of my flabs and freckles, grays and dark circles, hormones and crackling bones, I like who I see in the mirror. But most importantly, I also like who I see beside me, embracing every bit of my imperfections, joining me in my journey to come, and know there could not be a better way to ring in the next decade.

Step aside Beckham. Fabulous 40’s, here I come!!!

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Photo credit: Memories by Michelle

One comment

  1. Soma Chowdhury · October 25

    I am two years shy of forty and yet to feel the ‘burn (it’s usually brunt I know)’ of it. I also went through a tough 30’s and still in the grind. Hoping that I will rock in my 40s (I better do). Hope 40s,50…90s bring you happiness and good health. At the end good health, both physical and mental, is very very essential for our overall well being.

    Liked by 1 person

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