When you get remarried at 40 39:
- You tend to forget your body is no longer like it was in your 20’s and absolutely nothing you wear can make you look like the movie stars modeling outrageously priced outfits in magazines and online stores.
- You realize designers don’t make clothes for your size or body type anymore, no matter how many designer outfits you pin to that damned Pinterest board.
- Talking about Pinterest – absolutely nothing comes to fruition from your “wedding board” you had so enthusiastically started out with.
- Your biggest fear is that your guests will be better dressed than you.
- Weddings look better in Bollywood films and Facebook posts.
- Everyone keeps telling you how happy you finally look, like you were some sort of advertisement for Xanax this whole time.
- People don’t realize the “glow” they see in you is in reality from gaining weight and not just being in love.
- All those people who didn’t care much about you and/or engaged in a whole bunch of gossip are all of a sudden offended for not being invited to the wedding.
- Your friends are more excited with your wedding than you are, because they feel the next wedding they will get to attend is that of their kids, in about 15 more years.
- You tell vendors it is just a “small party” so you can be cheap and not pay “wedding party” prices.
- You are almost ready to pass out from sticker shock and tell yourself you should have just listened to your fiancé in the first place and eloped.
- Just that eloping with kids makes it feel like way more work than throwing a party for a hundred.
- For the first time ever, desi parents ask you if you are absolutely sure you want to get married.
- So much shit happens all around you with kids, work, friends, and life in general, that you go back to thinking eloping thoughts again.
- But then you receive a card from your daughter, a hand-written poem from your childhood best friend, a blast-from-the-past gift from your cousins, snuggles from your stepson, so much love and care from your partner, and most importantly three cases of margaritas from your co-worker, and you are reminded instantly what all this is truly about.
So, let the countdown begin…