No offence to my fiancé with the “Single Mom” title, but even though I am no longer single, when it comes to daily parenting shenanigans, I still feel very much that way. (Honey, if you are reading this, you still do need to take her to gymnastics tomorrow, please.)
Take for example last night. My daughter who has been sleeping in her own bed for quite some time now, has recently decided to wake up in the middle of the nights and throw herself into my bed, actually more like throw herself right under me, so when I have to turn around, there is every chance of crushing every bone in her body. In simpler turns (I mean terms), most nights now, I am held a prisoner in the tiniest corner of MY king-sized bed. Last night was no different apart from the fact I completely lost my mind and kept waking up and yelling at her at all odd times into the night.
I think my state of mind also had something to do with the overall sleepless weekend I had. As my loving fiancé would point out yet again how I bring this upon myself, I have to say my most stressful point was not that I had five or six activities/events to be at, but an elementary school Halloween party. For a change it was not the kids who stressed me out, but their elaborate costumes made by some over-achieving parents who I am going to go on a limb here and assume have no jobs.
Before you get all judgmental thinking I am being mean, I will be the first to admit I am a wee bit jealous. Well…a whole lot jealous. There, I said it!
My daughter was lucky enough to get a costume the weekend right before Halloween, thanks to Spirit Halloween forty dollars later. She originally wanted to be a genie. I did spend a few minutes some weeks ago to look for something online, but Miss Iamfussyaboutmyclothes decided she liked none. I had already run out of patience and setting all my fears aside of being the slightest bit crafty, I offered to dig through old piles of ethnic wear and manage to make her one. I guess she was smart enough to not take me on that offer. So, when her brother’s school Halloween party descended upon us, we made a mad dash to the local costume store. After looking through the entire store, multiple times, almost 45 minutes later, she came up to me and said, “I want to be an Indian.” My momentary look of dismay had her explaining to me she liked the Native American costume the best especially since she was learning about their history at school. One Indian wanting to dress up as another Indian was good enough reason for me to pay for the costume and get the hell out of there before I lost my effing mind.
So here I am, sitting at the school, watching the kids run around in their crafty costumes and wishing I had the lives of the moms who dressed their kids as Mt. Rushmore, Regional Transit, and a tornado to name a few. While I sit there feeling jealous, my mind is running a thousand miles per hour trying to figure out what important task I am forgetting to do this week which will either have me left with no food in the fridge or something not turned in at my daughter’s school on time. Time is one luxury that seems to be failing me every single day and if I am not at work, I am in my car, driving somewhere ALL the time.
As I write this, my house is a mess, I really don’t have any food in the fridge, my clean laundry is still in the dryer to be sorted, I cannot remember what color clothing my daughter is supposed to wear for spirit week at school tomorrow, I am afraid she will leave either her homework or her musical instruments at school yet again, my hair desperately needs a color and cut, my nail polish is peeling off, my eyebrows are turning grey, and I am afraid if that girl shows up in my bed again tonight, I might just kill her.
Since this week commences my last year in my thirties, and next month marks the completion of five years of single parenthood, I think I’m going to give myself (and copious amounts of wine) credit for being crafty about one thing – making it alive and even better not having killed anyone in the process. Here’s to a Happy Halloween folks!