Reasons I have not stopped drinking this week…

1.
My neighbor friend and myself are chatting by our community pool (located right across from my house), while our girls swim around in the pool. All of a sudden my daughter jumps out.
E: mommy, I need to go potty! (looking towards the house)
Neighbor: honey, there is a restroom right here (pointing in the direction of the poolside restrooms)
E: mommy, I think I want to go potty at home
Me: Sure!
Neighbor: you are so lucky. It’s like having your private pool without the maintenance.
Me: Suddenly we hear someone screaming.
Neighbor: is that E calling for you?
Me: I think so.
I rush out thinking it is some kind of emergency. Or else why would she call for me knowing I am by the pool? Note: at least part of our neighborhood heard her yelling for me. It had to be an emergency, right?
I enter the house and rush up the stairs to her bathroom where her voice originates.
Me: are you okay? What happened?
E: my poop looks different than it normally does
Me: REALLY???

2.
E is doing her math worksheet – multiplication by 7. All her answers are wrong.
Me: how did you come up with these answers?
E: well, I started with 7×6=49 and just went with that for the rest

3.
Before I hop into the shower in the morning, I remind E, who is sitting on the potty, to brush and get dressed after she’s done. I get in and out of the shower and that girl is still sitting where I left her.
Me: what is the matter? Are you not done going potty?
E: I think something will eventually come out

4.
Next morning, #3 repeats itself till I get into the shower. Suddenly I hear her calling for me in the same tone of desperation and pitch as mentioned in #1. Since this time around I think I am smarter, I ignore thinking it will stop. The yelling continues for about 5 minutes. I begin to think it might really be an emergency. Also, because I don’t want my neighbors to start complaining. I turn off the shower, barely wrap a towel around myself and rush out towards her bathroom where she still sits on the potty, dangling her feet.
Me: what is the matter?
E: were you running on the treadmill?
Me: you were yelling for me for that? why does it even matter?
E: oh, I was just wondering…

5.
We are listening to songs. “Abhi tow party shuru hui hai” starts playing.
E: mommy, mommy, I have to tell you something
Me: what?
E: last weekend when I was at this party with daddy, the grownups were all singing this song.
Me: that’s cool. Are you sure they were singing and not dancing?
E: yes, they were singing. I think one of the aunties said “abhi tow party shuru hui hain” and they all started singing the song.
Me: cool! Did you dance? (because she ALWAYS dances to this song)
E: no
Me: well, did you sing along with them or let them know you know the song?
E: no, because the women were asking the men if they were dating anyone.

And it’s only Wednesday…

Wine? Yes, please! 🙂

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One comment

  1. Joy Tsui Fong · June 11, 2015

    Eventually I had to tell my kids to yell for me like that only when blood is seen. I really did say that. So yea…I get you. (Oh and I live next to a police. At times I wonder what he thought about the yelling, slapping, and the screaming going on in my house. Because I wonder that about his house too…)

    Like

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