My sweet little girl,
A few months ago you told me you want to live in a mansion when you grow up and you graciously offered me a room and invited me to live with you. I was moved to tears till you gave me the real reason you wanted me there – to take care of your two future kids. I wanted to stop the car, get off, and run as fast as I possibly could. Just so you know, in future, the mention of taking care of your kids might send me into epileptic shock or stop my heart.
You see, by the time you have kids, you will have sucked every ounce of energy I have left to ever deal with any child or childlike adults EVER. I mean it. Every morning, by the time I get into the car to drive to work, I am tired. I know you are not a morning person. Trust me, I understand. I’m not one either and that makes life very hard for both of us. But my darling, we have the same routine every morning. I mean, we DO have to wake up, brush, go potty, eat breakfast, get ready (that includes wearing shoes and socks) and go to school. Mostly every human being on earth has to do this, day after day, year after year. So why does every morning seem like a challenge and the task at hand so daunting?
Talking about daunting tasks. If there was an award for most time taken to wear a pair of shoes, that award would go to you. A pair of shoes with no laces I might add. And if there are socks involved, then you might just go down in the Guinness book of word record. You might also go down in that book for your sock-less feet after school. I often times think I might never have to pay for pest control. Trust me, no living being can stay alive after having smelled your feet. I am surprised at how I am still in the house. The sacrifices a mother has to make.
When I became a mother, no one warned me against homework every night. All I heard about was breastfeeding and sleepless nights. I wish someone had told me that breastfeeding eventually turns into brainfeeding and sleepless nights turn into, well they just continue and maybe will become worse as you grow older. Time plays a valuable part in your life. You need a LOT of it and somehow I don’t have enough to give. If wearing shoes won you an award, then getting your homework done puts you in the hall of fame. A ten minute work plan can take you well over an hour or two. It also brings out your award winning doodles, poems, songs, glitter craft and cartwheels. Homework time can end in one big explosion of your creative inner being.
Then there is dinner time which involves healthy food that your body actually needs. But there is a choice I have to make each night to make the process go a bit smoother, and recently I have been choosing the option that slowly chips away whatever brain I have left at the end of the day – also known as Littlest Pet Shop.
Shower time contributes to my sleepless nights. I am often up at night wondering what my water bill will look like next month. I am also up stressing out about turning into a nag. I have to nag for you to get into the shower. Once in, I have to nag for you to get out of it. The nagging does not stop there. If I don’t nag, the world stops. My nagging controls our universe and that scares me shitless.
I would like to bring up your ridiculous school projects here that takes my life into a whole new level of stress. But I cannot pin that one on you. That needs to be a separate letter to the school district. I will just include some photos for the entertainment of all. I am nice that way.
I realize you are only eight. If I was feeling awake and had the energy to count, I would know how many more years of brainfeeding and sleepless nights you will contribute to in my life. So, don’t be surprised when my answer to the first thing you ask me on Saturday mornings right after you open your eyes, “mommy what FUN things are we doing today?” is “going right back to sleep, my dear”.
The reason I write you this letter is so you know that when time comes for your future two kids and if due to some miracle I DO agree to live with you in your mansion, the first thing I will be asking you in the morning is, “what fun things are YOU planning today?”, have a good laugh and go board the plane for Bora Bora. I’ll take plane tickets and hotel vouchers over mansion stays. Please keep note of that.
Your mommy who indeed loves you a lot and promises to be there for the grandchildren in spirit 🙂